firm_detective: (misa chair)
L has been keeping to himself, more or less, since his leg healed, but regular trips to the largest of the libraries are always on his agenda. As such, he spends much of his time reading. Tonight it's I, Claudius, which isn't holding his attention as well as he would like.

He rests in bed, propped up on pillows, his legs stretched out in front of him. Misa sprawls next to him, reading a magazine that she's managed to find somewhere. It might be any time of day, but his body and the lack of false daylight streaming in through the windows in their bedroom both tell him that it's probably closing in on midnight -- the moonlight, as fake as everything else, is silver in a dark blue velvet sky.

He shifts position, rolling on his side to face Misa, shifting the pillows that support his head. Before resuming his reading, he pauses to look at her. He likes the curve of her eyelashes against her cheek. As such, he tugs at the top of the spine of her magazine, then cranes his neck to try to kiss her forehead. He takes care to exaggerate the forlorn quality of his facial expression.

[Thread is private to [livejournal.com profile] firm_detective and [livejournal.com profile] misamisal. Adult content in its second half, but no smut tags. Translation: Hope is the anchor of life.

With regard to the injury mentioned here, it was an IC explanation for L's absence from the main community: he fell on some ice in one of the winter rooms and sprained his ankle and knee, and it took several months to heal.]

Date: 2010-07-04 06:08 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] misamisal.livejournal.com
::the movement of the bed causes her to look up at him with wide eyes from her magazine and the look on his face causes her to laugh. She throws the magazine down in front of her and meets him half way::
Oh, L, you're so cute!
::Framing his face with her hands, she mets his lips with her own, smiling into the kiss.::

Date: 2010-07-04 06:26 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] firm-detective.livejournal.com
He smiles back at her, returning the kiss. When it breaks, he caresses her nose with his index finger, pausing at the tip, and says, "I'm tired of reading." His stare is speculative, calculated to catch her eye.

Date: 2010-07-04 06:31 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] misamisal.livejournal.com
::her response is a quick toss of her magazine over her shoulder, as if to say, "You don't have to tell me twice!" She has a smile, as if she's trying to contain laughter::

Date: 2010-07-04 06:53 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] firm-detective.livejournal.com
He sets his own book aside, then pulls her closer. As he reaches for her, he rolls in towards her, then gives her another, more confident kiss.

He's tired of reading, and tired of any number of other things in the Mansion. His health might be better, his injury mostly healed, but he still feels like he's spending his days swimming through a viscous fluid, unable to move forward from where they are. The bright spots are the times spent with her.

Date: 2010-07-05 12:14 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] misamisal.livejournal.com
::a her smile disappears as he kisses her, her breathing becoming a bit shallow, her face slightly flushed. When there's a break, she speaks, her expression serious but loving::
L, there's something I want to discuss with you, but I want to discuss it before we do anything like this. I don't want you to think I'd ever use closeness to manipulate you. I want your honest opinion on what I'm about to talk with you about.

Date: 2010-07-05 01:03 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] firm-detective.livejournal.com
Pulling away from her, he gives her a long look. If she doesn't want me to feel manipulated, he thinks, she wants something. But -- what is it?

He doubts that she's as miserable as he has been; she's always been more content with their situation than he has. When he wasn't sure whether or not they would be able to stay together anywhere else, he found the situation more tolerable. But it has been a year, mostly wasted, since the binding ritual; lately he has set to obsessive wondering about what the purpose of keeping him and Misa there might be. In the past, he had been useful to the entities in charge of the place, so he has endeavored to make himself useless. There has been no change, though, no sign that he will ever be able to go home to his work and his life and all the things that were taken from him.

He sighs, then rolls onto his back, sinking into the pile of pillows.

"Fine. What's on your mind, Misa?"

He holds out an arm so that she can snuggle against him if she wants to. It almost seems like it might be wiser to move to the sofa, to sit further apart so that he can watch her face and gestures while she speaks. However, he'll be able to feel any tension if she lays against him, and her voice is usually as revealing to him as her facial expressions. He can never be sure that he'll know if she's dishonest with him, but he knows there's a good chance he'll suspect it if he ever needs to.

Date: 2010-07-05 01:33 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] misamisal.livejournal.com
::she does snuggle up to him, but in a different way; sitting up, she scoots next to his body, taking his hand while sitting in a butterfly leg position::
It's actually two things. The first is...I want to go home. Our home in your world. I don't know how we can get there without making some sort of a deal, but I'm willing to help plan some sort of a deal we could make so we can get on with our lives. I know we'll have to give up some things, but...
::she squeezes his hand, sighing sadly at the thought of having to lose memory::
-but I think we can come up with something that won't have us losing too much of what we've experienced here. Maybe. In any case, we can at least try to come up with something and see if a deal is worth making. What do you think?

Date: 2010-07-05 03:25 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] firm-detective.livejournal.com
His first response is another sigh, this one relieved, and he feels himself relaxing.

When he begins to speak, it's careful and halting, and he squeezes her hand. "There's very little about this place that I care about remembering. A few things. Our... history." The first night he spent in her room, the night he knew he loved her, and the night, weeks later, when he told her; all seemed indelible to him. "What will happen if I slip, maybe -- how bad Yagami might have been. How far I can fall.

"Misa, I want to leave. I think about it all the time -- I make plans. I have theories, but -- I will explain them to you later. What was the second thing?"
Edited Date: 2010-07-05 10:43 am (UTC)

Date: 2010-07-05 02:28 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] misamisal.livejournal.com
::another squeeze of his hand and a soft smile::
I'm so glad. I've been thinking a lot about it, too.
::her smile fades and she looks down at their hands, clutching to his, now with both of hers::

The second thing is about my family. I want to contact them somehow. I've heard of a room where letters can be sent back home and another where a video phone call can be made. I'd like to do that if this next part isn't possible.
::a soft sigh::
I would really like to bring them to our world. I miss Nori and her husband and most of all I miss my nephew. They wouldn't have to know anything, the worlds are likely similar enough that they would have no idea they were even moved. It would be nice, when you cannot be around, if I would be able to spend time with them.
::she speaks as if she knows it's a losing battle, as if she already knows there's no way her wish will be granted.::
I'm sorry. I know it's so selfish. I have more with you than I ever thought possible. But, I miss them so much, it hurts. I just keep thinking about going through my life and not having them there in some way; Nori and I were there for each other through everything, through ups and downs, loses in our family - I was the maid of honor in her wedding and I always wanted her to be standing there with me, too. And then if we decide to have kids, and helping her raise her children, holidays and birthdays-!
::one of her hands leaves his to cover her eyes, the other holding on to his hand for dear life::
Everything I'll miss in their lives and everything they'll miss in mine-it's like loosing my parents all over again, except at least with them there was some sort of closure; in this situation I'll always know they're alive, they're out there and there's no chance I'll ever see them again and I'll always worry if they're alright.
::a small sniff and she wipes her eyes, now large and shiny, then places her hand back over his, giving a soft smile::
It's okay if you say no, I won't be mad and I'll never hold it against you. I know you won't like the idea and I don't blame you at all. I think I just wanted you to know how I felt about it. I know there are plenty of other factors I'm probably not even considering.





((ooc: Whew! Two misfires!))

Date: 2010-07-06 01:59 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] firm-detective.livejournal.com
He listens to her as she speaks; every time he's about to respond, she forges ahead with a new point. She covers her eyes with one hand and clings to him with the other. He understands, from these cues and also from the nature of her argument, that this is a speech that she must have been rehearsing for a while. It doesn't soften his reaction, but it does cause him to make an intellectual choice to try to temper what he feels.

At the same time, one glance at her wide, watery eyes causes him to look away; it will be easier to say the things he has to say if he can't see her staring at him like that, can't see her facial expression. He pushes his head back into the pillow, stares at the ceiling for a few long moments, biting his lower lip. He wishes he had a microphone and walls to put between them. But I would still be watching her, wouldn't I? I would see her face.

He lets out a soft puff of air, then takes a deep breath. His hesitation would be obvious to anyone.

"To begin with, Misa, I'm not surprised. Every time I told you this would happen, you insisted that I wasn't taking your feelings seriously -- your commitment, hm? And -- before you made that commitment permanent, I asked you to be sure it was what you wanted." He sounds as gentle and reasonable as he can manage, in spite of his frustration with her. "For that reason, I have to say that I think you will grow to resent me if I say no. You're right in suspecting that I wouldn't like the idea. I don't."

He feels pressure on his chest and a cold feeling in the pit of his stomach, and he wishes that he were anywhere else.

Date: 2010-07-06 05:45 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] misamisal.livejournal.com
::She listens and she can tell even just from his body language how much this is hurting him and it brings new tears to her eyes. She brings his hand to her lips, kissing it repeatedly::
I understand. I'm sorry. I feel like-like I shouldn't have said anything, but I don't want to keep anything from you. I can't keep anything from you. All I have to do is see you and every wall I put up for everyone else crumbles. But, I like that. I like being able to be so close to you.
::Her free hand wipes at her eyes::
I think I feel like I'm disappointing them in some way. Like I'm deserting them. I hate the idea that they're somewhere in the world, hating me, and I can't do anything about it.
::a shake of her head::
But, I'm being so selfish, and that's worse. To take them from their lives- Akito wouldn't grow up with grandparents, aunts and uncles like I did. It will only be on his Father's side, but those people will still be there.
::Moving his hand, she cradles it against her cheek, continuing to kiss his wrist::
Thank you for listening. I am still commited to you, completely. I can get along without them, it's obvious from all the time I've been here. But, I can't get along without you. I know I'm making the right decision.
::This time, she slides beneath his arm, cuddling as close as she can to his body::
I love you. Thank you for taking care of me. I'm sorry I can be a handful sometimes, I'm such an emotional person, but I know you'll do what's best for us. I trust you completely. Everything will be better once we get back to our world.

Date: 2010-07-06 10:56 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] firm-detective.livejournal.com
She kisses his hand, then his wrist, then presses herself as close to him as she can, and the whole time, it takes concentration and restraint to keep himself from pulling away. He allows her to touch him, but he's distant, disconnected, as she renounces ideas into which he's aware that she must have put a lot of thought, and therefore a lot of time. She didn't speak on a whim. The fact that she's speaking quickly, in whole paragraphs, not allowing him to get a word in edgewise, also suggests that she's formed the entire argument in her mind, and that she's panicking at his disapproval.

He pats her shoulder with the hand that rests against it, then says, patient, "Misa, please calm down. If this issue came up once, it will come up again." So far, in many ways, he feels as if he hasn't been part of the conversation at all.

"To begin with -- they are not somewhere in the world; they are in another world. What makes you think that they would hate you? Your sister is aware of your situation, yes?"

Date: 2010-07-07 01:55 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] misamisal.livejournal.com
::she takes a deep breath, realizing she's been monopolizing the conversation::
Yes, she is. She told me to do what I had to do. She said she could tell how important this is to me and that she loves me no matter what.

::remembering her previous conversations with her sister, how much she talked about L, at any chance she got and she smiles softly at how approving Nori had been.::
I had this nightmare again the other night. We were finally back in our world, but suddenly Nori appeared. She was holding Akito-he was crying and could barely look at me. She said it was all my fault for leaving and then she turned and disappeared. I couldn't see where they went, but I kept hearing Akito crying.
::a deep, slow sigh, as if she's just lifted something heavy from her chest.::

Date: 2010-07-07 03:31 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] firm-detective.livejournal.com
"Again?"

A recurring dream, probably driven by anxiety. Raising his free hand to his mouth, he sets the tip of his thumb between his teeth and presses down on the top edge of the lower row. It isn't quite painful, but the sensation has a presence. It makes it easier to focus his emotions.

"Please think rationally, Misa. How could something like that be your fault? I'm aware that in some ways you feel responsible for what happens in your world -- but it isn't your world anymore. It has nothing to do with you, even if something you did in the past caused trouble. Your ties are severed; this is... it is your imagination." As he speaks, his fingertips make a lazy, affectionate trail along her shoulder, then up to her hair, which he smooths.
Edited Date: 2010-07-10 04:29 pm (UTC)

Date: 2010-07-11 02:32 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] misamisal.livejournal.com
::his voice and the soft way he strokes her skin and hair cause her to sigh softly, relaxed.::
I know...I just get paranoid sometimes, especially with the dreams. They can feel so real. I feel a little better now and I'll try my best not to feel that way.

::a smile now::
I feel much better when I think about finally going home with you and seeing our world and how wonderful it'll be to finally set foot on real land and breath real fresh air, not the conjured kind in the rooms here.

Date: 2010-07-11 03:07 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] firm-detective.livejournal.com
"You have to let go," he continues, in a softer voice. "I understand that it's difficult" -- his understanding is only intellectual, tied more to his skill as a profiler than to genuine empathy -- "but I want you to be aware of the reasons why I feel this way."

He wants -- tries -- to be empathetic for her, but familial love is relevant to him primarily as a potential motivation for someone else's criminal activity.

As such, and as an experiment, he sometimes lets his mind wander to the topic of the children he and Misa might one day have together. He knows that he would protect them with all of his power, but he isn't sure why; he prods his own feelings on the topic and cannot, as yet, feel hypothetical love for them. It's possible that his protectiveness would be motivated more by the rush of love he feels for the woman who would be their mother, the knowledge of the way that losing them could undo her, or the fact that he guards what is his.

"For one thing, Misa, you would make a target of your sister's family." He continues to stroke the hair behind her ear.

Date: 2010-07-11 05:23 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] misamisal.livejournal.com
::the soft brush on her ear causes shivers and her eyes close halfway.::
Targets...as in they could be hunted, should someone find out they have ties to you through me, hmm?

Date: 2010-07-12 03:17 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] firm-detective.livejournal.com
"Yes." His tone, gentle but firm and devoid of regret, indicates that this is a simple fact which isn't up for discussion. "Potential hostages. They haven't chosen that kind of danger. There isn't any reason for them to choose it."

His hand is still at his mouth, although he is no longer fidgeting with it; he lets it fall to his side. As much as he has deep misgivings about putting Misa's close relatives in more danger than necessary, he's also disinterested in giving possible leverage to any enemies.

He moves his other hand up, until it's almost cupping the back of her head.

"Apart from that, they would have no place in society in my world. No history, no place to live. You have a double there; she already has a sister. It's different for me, and for you, because I have no public face. You would also be very private. It's another matter entirely when someone has other ties -- ordinary work, relatives, and so on."
Edited Date: 2010-07-12 04:14 am (UTC)

Date: 2010-07-13 03:42 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] misamisal.livejournal.com
::a soft nod and a hum of agreement::
Yes, I hadn't thought of that...they would be giving up everything else in their lives without being able to make the decision for themselves. And the possibility that they could be harmed...I can't let that happen.

::a small pause::
The double of myself in your world- she has a sister, too?

Date: 2010-07-13 04:28 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] firm-detective.livejournal.com
"It's one thing to choose a life for yourself which might be hazardous, but I think you can't choose it for your sister's family. Even if you did, your contact with them would necessarily be limited. It's impossible for me to do a background check on her husband, for example."

He turns his head and bends to kiss her forehead again. The knot of tension in his stomach is fading, now that they're discussing the matter.

"Yes. A few years older. Akiko...?" It's been a while, and Amane's sister was so tangential to the case that it's hard for him to remember.

Date: 2010-07-20 11:22 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] misamisal.livejournal.com
::another small hum of agreement. When he presses his lips to her forehead, her eyes flutter closed::
How strange...usually the Misa's here don't have any siblings. I wonder what she looks like. I wonder if she looks like Nori.

::She gives him a small squeeze:: Thank you. I really appreciate this. Thank you for having this talk with me. I feel much better now. I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable.

::turning, she looks up at him, her arm still draped over his torso. She stares at him a moment, then leans up and captures his lips before pulling back just slightly, her forehead resting against his. With a small smile, she reaches under her pillow and pulls out a red velvet mask laced with red feathers. Slowly, she slides it up his arm, just barely touching.::

Look what I found today.

Date: 2010-07-21 07:30 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] firm-detective.livejournal.com
When Misa was sent home, she returned with photographs of her sister, stored in the memory of a digital camera, and when L was sent home, he made a point of checking in on Akiko. Her appearance was the same as Nori's, but her life wasn't as settled. She was living in a small apartment in Kyoto with her fiance.

Misa squeezes him, and it's obvious that she wants to close the topic, but he isn't able to put her questions aside as easily as that. "Misa," he protests, "if there's more to discuss, we should discuss it."

After her kiss, and her smile, she runs a scrap of velvet up his arm; it doesn't derail his train of thought, but to an extent, it distracts him. Still resting his forehead against hers, he twists his head to look at the mask.

"'Found,'" he says, echoing her in a way that suggests he thinks her coup involved more intent than accident. "Where did you find something like that?"

Date: 2010-07-21 08:50 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] misamisal.livejournal.com
::she shook her head::
I think I'm okay now. I can't make such a desicion for them, and you're absolutely right; they would have no history in your world. They wouldn't be able to survive there. It's better that they stay where they are. Besides, without them in our world, it'll give us more freedom. Plus, as selfish as it sounds, I like the idea of having you to myself. But, if there's anything else you think we should discuss about it, I'm certainly open to that.

::a small laugh::
I found it in a container of props in my old closet.

::She decides not to tell him about the matching bra and panties set she's wearing under her clothes that go with the mask.::

Date: 2010-07-22 03:50 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] firm-detective.livejournal.com
He pulls away to give her another long, speculative look. It's too easy, he thinks. She wants me to herself -- for now, until the next time she misses her sister.

After a moment, he darts forward to kiss her again, rolling in towards her, his hand coming to rest on her waist. He presses the length of his body to hers.

"What were you doing in your old closet?" he murmurs. The scent of strawberries has been teasing him all evening, with an unidentifiable source. It isn't the perfume that Misa sometimes wears; it's too faint and inconsistent for that, unless it's one small drop somewhere under her clothes. He inhales deeply near her skin, trying to determine the origin of the scent.

[OOC: I didn't want to assume she was wearing it. If it's not a little drop on the bra somewhere, it could be coming from clothes in the closet in their room, a few feet away, that she's already worn. :) ]
Edited Date: 2010-07-22 07:08 am (UTC)

Date: 2010-07-23 03:43 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] misamisal.livejournal.com
::she tilts her head slightly as he stares at her, in confusion at first. Then, her eyes soften and she smiles gently, understanding what he must be thinking, perhaps worried about the next time she'll miss her sister and nephew. But, all she has to do is look at him now to remember why she's doing this, why she's making this choice.::

::when he presses her flush against him she gasps softly, then runs her tongue slowly over his upper lip. At his question, she chuckles softly::

Finding something special to wear.
::The deep breath causes her to laugh, knowing he must be smelling the strawberry purfume she dabbed on the red bow in the center of her bra and panties.::

((ooc: She's wearing this: http://www.fairygothmother.co.uk/fgm-showgirl.htm The purfume is on the red bows. :3 That was a really cute idea! :D ))

Date: 2010-07-23 05:12 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] firm-detective.livejournal.com
"So you were planning," he murmurs, then gives her a deeper kiss. It's not a surprise; sex is a way to keep themselves occupied, one which almost never gets boring.

His knee injury had occasioned a long period of relative celibacy. What lovemaking he was physically capable of pursuing, then, was intermittent, not as fluid as he had become used to. After he felt that he had recovered enough to try it, he'd developed a position, lying on their sides, head-to-feet, with a cushion between his knees and his head pillowed on her inner thigh, that allowed him to pleasure her in comfort. Vigorous activity had been out of the question, though.

In the weeks since the pain had faded and his walking had become more steady, the passion between them had flared again. It had some of the newness and sense of variety that it had had in the beginning.

His hand slips down from her waist to her hip, tugging at her soft knit dress until the hem creeps up her thigh. He puts his hand under her skirt, and feels -- silk satin, the edge of a ribbon. He tugs at the end with his fingertips, then, still exploring, caresses and cups her bottom.

-- Ruffles?

The strawberry scent is more present in the air, but he still can't quite place it.

Date: 2010-07-25 05:39 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] misamisal.livejournal.com
::a small laugh::
Sort of, yeah. I wanted to do something nice for you. In the morning I'll make blueberry and strawberry pancakes and apple cinnimon pancakes. Does that sound good?

::his exploring fingertips brings a soft sigh from her as well as a tingling throughout her body. Softly, she moves her hands over his shoulders and back, pulling up the white cotton of his shirt until she's able to reach her fingertips beneath to move over his smooth skin. She smiles at the thought of him finding the purfume she'd somewhat hidden beneath her clothes.::

Date: 2010-07-25 10:09 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] firm-detective.livejournal.com
His first response is a solemn nod. Then, he rests his face alongside hers, and says against her cheek, near her ear, "Delicious." He's pleased with the ambiguity of his response; his lips curve into a half-smile.

With her hands caressing him, then finding their way under his shirt, he leaves off exploring the satiny ruffles of her underthings. "This is interesting, Misa, but I would rather look at it than take it off of you before I've seen it." As he whispers to her, he moves his hand back to her waist, then tugs the skirt higher. "Please."

He can't lift the dress any further without her assistance; his own shirt will hardly be any more convenient to take off in their current positions. His pajama bottoms can wait.

Date: 2010-08-06 04:12 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] misamisal.livejournal.com
::Pulling back enough so he can see her, she stares at him through half lidded eyes. Her breath coming in soft pants and a blush tinging her cheeks, she slowly pulls her dress toward her head. Inch by inch, revealing more skin until the fabric moves over her head and finds it way to the floor next to the bed::

Date: 2010-08-27 06:21 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] firm-detective.livejournal.com
It's obvious to L that Misa is teasing him by taking her dress off at such a deliberate pace. When it hits the floor, he pulls her close again, then rolls her so that she's straddling him.

At first, he leans back on his elbows, staring up at her, memorizing the details. She's wearing a black satin bra and matching knickers, both covered in black ruffles with red ribbon trim and bows. The knickers lace up on each side, but the ribbon he has already untied trails down her leg. Disarray is more tempting than perfection; it makes him want to unlace the panties further, but as he lifts the end of the ribbon between his fingertips, he changes his mind and lets it fall back against her thigh.

He curves his spine to bring his face closer to her, then wraps his arms around her waist and presses his lips to her abdomen, then higher, then higher again. The tumbled ends of her pale hair are brushing against his forehead. His breathing is regular, and when he reaches the bow at the center of the bra, he stops, then inhales a few times, turning his head to the side and nestling against her. He is certain, beyond doubt, that the bow is the source of the strawberry scent.

"Found it."

He sounds pleased with himself.

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