firm_detective: (lust)
I think I may be a little drunk. I've been out of the room tonight -- I saw Light, he ran off -- I may have to reevaluate my plan -- but that is not -- I have something else to think about --

The evening ended in a way that -- it is something different, it is new, and I don't know what I -- how do I think how do I feel about this?

I found myself talking to Misa for a while, again, discussing some of the plans we made last week, those to ensure the eventual safety of our companions. She became -- very intoxicated. I am sure she had as much to drink as I did -- I tower over her --

I offered to see her back to her room safely -- she told me she had no experience with intoxication -- I don't know why, but leaving her in the bar alone -- seemed like the wrong idea -- and --

she said -- but I am completely certain it was -- she was drunk after all -- she said that she has a... crush? on me? -- and then -- and then she said -- that she thought we would...? together? -- But it's impossible, she was just drunk....

In the kitchen the other day -- she kissed me. And it wasn't unpleasant -- and I thought -- it could be useful -- so I let it -- I let her -- and everyone saw --

Is that -- is that what I want? To kiss Misa? It has been such a very long time since I have kissed anyone -- I gave up on that long ago -- I don't know where to start (do I want to start?)

Misa is attractive sweet and -- interested -- helpful, too -- and I think she might be wrong for me but -- isn't everyone is anyone right ever right -- maybe there's right for right now and it's day by day every day -- maybe it would be all right to find out -- here --

I don't like what it does to me -- so little clarity --

and I'm just going to go to sleep now, and it's so -- it's alone -- so much --

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firm_detective

May 2012

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