The wonder that's keeping the stars apart

[firm_detective]

L sits on the sofa, reading a book, waiting for Misa to return from the kitchen. When he hears the door opening, he doesn't look up.

"Misa, we need to talk about something."

Comments

[firm-detective.livejournal.com]

*His embrace tightens, becomes firm, but he doesn't look into her face.*

I said something when I was small that I -- didn't intend to say. Misa, I'm not sure I could ever marry you.

Please understand -- I've said "could," not "would."

[misamisal.livejournal.com]

::she giggles::
That was so cute.
::she strokes his face, smiling::
I understand, and it's alright. We care for each other, and that's all that matters. :)

[firm-detective.livejournal.com]

I think it's important to say, now, though. It strikes me that this procedure, crossing worlds, tying ourselves to each other so completely... it seems more like a wedding than most of the common ceremonies, even in its effects.

*He looks at her, now, craning his neck up to kiss her.*

It was something I had planned to think about more in the future, but once the possibility of learning the rituals became a reality, it became clear to me.

I'm... already yours, Misa, as much as I can be anyone's.

[misamisal.livejournal.com]

::she nods, smiling::
I agree. To be honest, it's more special to me than any wedding could be.It makes me happy to hear you say that. I'm already yours as well.
::she lays her head down, resting against his chest, smiling softly as she listens to his heart beating::

[firm-detective.livejournal.com]

*Stroking the back of her head with the tips of his long fingers, he sounds hesitant.*

Yes, but-- that means it-- I thought it was too soon to consider that kind of commitment, and it is also more binding than any wedding.

The situation requires it, though. We don't have the luxury of time for indecision.

It is only that I hope we will never have cause to regret it.

[misamisal.livejournal.com]

I hope not, either. But...I don't think I'll ever regret it.

[firm-detective.livejournal.com]

*His voice is almost inaudible.*

... the possibility frightens me, Misa. So many people make these kinds of promises, and then the promises don't last. It's the rule, not the exception.

[misamisal.livejournal.com]

::she nods slightly and speaks in a voice that seem to stem straight from experience::
I know. It frightens me, too.

[firm-detective.livejournal.com]

*Again, he seems to have trouble summoning his next words.*

I lie a lot. Not to you, but to everyone else. Not as much, since I've been here, but it's how I am.

*I also lie to you, but not often, and not lately. He continues to slowly caress the back of her head.*

[misamisal.livejournal.com]

::she gently runs her fingers across his skin, her ear still to his chest::

It's alright. I lie a lot, too. Though, not so much here, as well. Sometimes lies aren't as destructive as many seem to think. Sometimes they can save our lives.

[firm-detective.livejournal.com]

I do not think it's destructive -- not for me, anyway. But I don't trust people. I think about all this, and I worry that it won't last. I worry about leaving you, or losing you, because those are the two most likely outcomes, no matter what I want to believe at the moment.

*He sighs, sounding frustrated.*

In any case, I know that I don't plan to leave or lose you now.