firm_detective: (lying down)
When he walks into the room, L looks shaken. He's moving stiffly, and blood continues to trickle down his face from a nasty cut on his forehead; his hand is also cut. A few bruises are beginning to bloom.

He collapses into the chair closest to the door, sprawling across it.

[[Not sure where this is in the timeline -- sometime around nowish -- but L has just come from a run-in with [livejournal.com profile] curtainwizard in the Hate Room. Private to [livejournal.com profile] firm_detective and [livejournal.com profile] misamisal.]]
firm_detective: (friendly)
L is still resting, gathering his strength, pondering everything he now knows and how it ties into his own situation. He's sitting on the sofa, now, staring down at his toes as he wiggles them against each other.

His information about the illness may have doubled in the past 12 hours, but it hasn't done a thing for his pain, nor has it stopped the green discharge that occasionally drains from his ears and nose, and down the back of his throat.

He nestles into his blanket and sighs.

There's another knock at the door, and he answers it with, "You might as well come in."

[[This thread is private to [livejournal.com profile] firm_detective and [livejournal.com profile] emo_raito.]]
firm_detective: (working)
[[continuation of personal log related to epidemic in Mansion]]

Tuesday -- More pain. Burning pain. Fever receding, occasioanl flare. Breathing problems.
- After I completed entry, Near (blind) dead. Ruptured thoracic and abdominal regions. green. like body in kitchn. illness's ultimate conclusion.
- I am dying. my pain points to it. ridiculous way to die.
- visits: Mello, Watari, Pink-san. Loose ends tied.
- M. sicker than I thought. Green patches on back. Wants to make deals. Love her.

Wednesday -- Continuation & escalation of symptoms.
- Went to kitchen for an hour in the evening.
- **Beyond is well again.** no longer averse to watari eithr.
- Elle: discussion, Light worse (gr discharge), child Mello hallucinates but no other symp, something weird abt B visit friday?,
**WHY AREN'T THE CHILDREN ILL** (epidemiology)
- Feeling -- being watched

Thurs -- Same. feel watched when alone -- motor control deteriorating
- Kitchen again -- met new Near
- mihael v sick -- discharge -- kira near v sick -- still active
- visit from Light, surprise @ his concern

fri -- same -- always more pain -- watched
- stayed in bed exc visitors
- misas eyes gr now -- why?

sat -- same, worse -- breathing
- hallucinatn in hall. gurney. slime. body disappears. dead end but it vanished?
- help from mel, talk -- *WHY DID EVERYONE GET SICK @ SAME TIME?**
= *****NOT A NORMAL DISEASE*****
- ghost? devil?

sun -- same as sat
- met new 2x int conv
- conv w pink in kitchen -- promises re M -- my theory of illness (such as is)

mon -- same, alws increasing
- mihael dead, light tkng badly
- B in ktchn -- claims 3rd death.

B IS HALLUCINATION OR GHOST. IF HALL., AM FURTHER GONE THAN I THOUGHT. SAID:
***THE ILLNESS IS THE SAME THING AS THE GHOST***
***THE GHOST IS THE SAME THING AS THE ILLNESS***
***BOTH ARE SMTHNG ELSE ENTIRELY***
***WHO DIES DEPENDS ON THEM, ME?***


mockery -- why? wants to keep me alive to "give me a chance" --
mind playing tricks?
my sins?

tues -- same pain increasign watched
- sleeping, thinking
depends on me, sins, what is the cause??? "too slow"

why why why why w
firm_detective: (lying down)
*Although L's visits to the kitchen were brief, and he remained seated the entire time, they took a lot out of him. He's napping, while Misa has gone to the kitchen to fetch a late dinner.*

*A new symptom has appeared: a rash, darker green, on his chest over his heart. He is dozing, but his hands are shaking.*

*The door is unlocked.*

[[This thread is private to [livejournal.com profile] firm_detective and [livejournal.com profile] emo_raito; [livejournal.com profile] misamisal is welcome to return from her eventful evening if she would like to. Anyone else want in? Ping me and we'll see.]]
firm_detective: (eyes)
Several days ago, Mihael visited my room to tell me that Light is missing. No -- he visited to look for him, actually, thinking I might have taken him into custody again.

Since then, if I am unoccupied (in spite of Misa, I am still often less occupied than I would like to be), my mind trips along a drumbeat: where is he where is he where is he where is he where is he.

I find myself concerned for his safety, more than anything. But I also find myself wondering if the plans I've made are now in tatters, if my only chance now is to stay here. (How long can someone stay here?) I already have the terrible dichotomy: there is nothing for me to do, I cannot remember ever feeling this ineffectual, yet... I don't want to leave her, either. And I don't want to die.

In the last few days, I have spent a lot of time looking for him around the Mansion. Mostly in hallways -- it would be both imprudent and useless to attempt to search every room. A body swap that saw me looking like the male Misa for a day -- it seems he's a rock star -- made my search slightly less conspicuous.

There is nothing, nothing, nothing. No sign of him, no sign that he was ever here, except that I still have his notebook.

Talking to Meile would be useless, now that I know what I know, and there is no sign of Sayu Yagami anywhere.

The worst may have been yesterday, when I ran into Pink-san; his Bs have vanished, and it seems they have taken his sanity with them.

So... there isn't any assistance to draw on.

What is happening in this place?
... How much longer will it let me hold on to what's left?
firm_detective: (boy detective)
After last night's confusion, I want to make a point of writing everything else that happened.

Keeping mostly to myself in this room has become dull, and I'm still not certain where Mihael and Light have run off to, so last night, I joined a large group of people in their weekly celebration at the bar. Talking to the other inhabitants of this place nearly always yields valuable information. Still, I am ashamed to admit, even to myself, that I was not expecting the things that happened.

The signal moment of the entire evening: just after I arrived, so close on my heels that I'm amazed I didn't run into him in the hallway, Light made an appearance. And a fast disappearance, of course, characterized by a sort of abject terror. It is strange, in that I intentionally did not react to the encounter, yet he behaved as though I were pursuing him.

This led to a somewhat uncomfortable conversation with the pink-haired fellow: I think he may misinterpret my behavior towards -- no, my relationship with -- Light.

I was frustrated by the encounter -- with Light, I mean -- and by hearing that Mihael had incapacitated himself. I had thought that allowing Mihael (so confident in his own theories about my methods) to look after Light for a while would probably be harmless... indeed, the worst that has happened to Light seems to be that Meile punched him, and that was not unexpected. I have even made a point of showing Mihael that a show of force from me is not forthcoming.

Yet Pink-san feels it is creating more problems? I suppose it is possible, though I don't think that such things are my responsibility; Light and Mihael chose for themselves. He thinks I should talk to Light, and seemed undaunted when I pointed out the logical difficulties of that idea.

His thinking may have been impaired by his level of intoxication. And the way one must sit on those bar stools to avoid falling off of them. I wound up escorting him back to his room, then returning to the bar.

After that, I had two interesting conversations, one with the rainbow-haired Matt, another with a different Light. I don't feel that either has much bearing on my current situation, but each brought up new topics for consideration.

Then... everything that happened with Misa. I -- what do I want? What should I do? For the moment, I just need to think about it. It's a distraction, but even I am not such a liar to myself as to claim it's an unwelcome one.

ooc )
firm_detective: (lust)
I think I may be a little drunk. I've been out of the room tonight -- I saw Light, he ran off -- I may have to reevaluate my plan -- but that is not -- I have something else to think about --

The evening ended in a way that -- it is something different, it is new, and I don't know what I -- how do I think how do I feel about this?

I found myself talking to Misa for a while, again, discussing some of the plans we made last week, those to ensure the eventual safety of our companions. She became -- very intoxicated. I am sure she had as much to drink as I did -- I tower over her --

I offered to see her back to her room safely -- she told me she had no experience with intoxication -- I don't know why, but leaving her in the bar alone -- seemed like the wrong idea -- and --

she said -- but I am completely certain it was -- she was drunk after all -- she said that she has a... crush? on me? -- and then -- and then she said -- that she thought we would...? together? -- But it's impossible, she was just drunk....

In the kitchen the other day -- she kissed me. And it wasn't unpleasant -- and I thought -- it could be useful -- so I let it -- I let her -- and everyone saw --

Is that -- is that what I want? To kiss Misa? It has been such a very long time since I have kissed anyone -- I gave up on that long ago -- I don't know where to start (do I want to start?)

Misa is attractive sweet and -- interested -- helpful, too -- and I think she might be wrong for me but -- isn't everyone is anyone right ever right -- maybe there's right for right now and it's day by day every day -- maybe it would be all right to find out -- here --

I don't like what it does to me -- so little clarity --

and I'm just going to go to sleep now, and it's so -- it's alone -- so much --

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May 2012

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