i want candy

It's always so frustrating -- depressing -- when I can't explain something to my satisfaction. This is the world. L knows what is going on. He can explain it to you... after he explains it to himself. That's how I live. Yet somehow... I'm not there yet.

I woke up here, in an empty, carpeted room... I don't know how long ago it was, time passes in fits and starts. It seems I hit my head when Yagami clocked me. But he claims I knocked him out with my returning kick... it's strange, since he's been here longer than me, by a day or so.

Soon enough, people -- and other things -- began to talk to me. It rapidly became clear to me that the best course of action would be to accept what I saw and heard and felt and glean what information I could.

Of course, the first person I ran into was Light Yagami. He had slipped his restraints somehow, so I recaptured him, dealing with the ensuing sulking. It's imperative that I keep an eye on him... not only is he my suspect, he's also my responsibility.

As is to be expected, where Light Yagami goes, Misa Amane follows... except this is not the Amane I know. This new Misa seems more serious, less egocentric. I must admit that the change is not unwelcome.

Most surprising, then, was that I met myself... but not me. His hair is a color that mine only was once, briefly, for a case I solved easily several years ago -- but he's familiar with the Kira case. He told me more about where he believes we are: in a mansion, somewhere, somehow, with mysterious properties. I'll believe them when I see them. From him, I learned that there may be many versions here of the people I might know; furthermore, they might be unlike themselves. This fits what I've seen.

I then met a strange young man, about my age, who seems to be an adult version of a boy who I know to currently reside at Wammy's House. His world is criminal, and I doubt that his life has been a happy one, but he has an insouciant charm. He says that he never lived at Wammy's, and that in his world, there is no well-known detective named L.

Finally, I met a shinigami named Rem, a grave creature who guards Misa Amane like her own child. I think I reacted appropriately. Rem seems reserved, and does not approve of Yagami, though I assured her that the Light I know is currently no danger to Amane at all. 

Amane related dreams to me, things she hadn't experienced, that sound all too much like what I know to be true. It didn't sound like they boded well for me... but then, neither does this headache.

Everything I hear from all of these people, even if they only turn out to have been thoughts in my own convalescent head,  convinces me that I am correct about the identity of Kira... but I have also caught hints that there's more to it. Anyway, I can't do anything without real evidence. What I have now is a circumstantial case pointing to an unlikely suspect.

I would really like some tea, now. At least six lumps of sugar. Black Forest cake, jam tarts, something to help me think. If I were in my own place, any of them, there would be a kindly old man to bring something to me if I asked... I miss him. He's the closest thing to a father I can remember having.