firm_detective: (working)
Update (September 2011): I haven't touched this post in almost three years. I should probably, one day, move the elements of it that are still relevant to my other journal; until then, I'll just say that the L I played with this journal was a learning experience. Looking back, strictly at old tags, there are a few things I would do differently. One is that I think his dialogue got too stilted and formal in some threads because I didn't use enough contractions in his speech, and another is that I was timid about threading some things that he should not necessarily IC-ly have been as timid about. A third is that I wasn't satisfied with the 8-year-old version I attempted at all. :)

I thought it would be interesting to address some conclusions that I've come to about L, which will hopefully inform what goes on here. I update this as I understand new elements. It's long and rambly, but should be a very comprehensive guide to understanding where he's coming from.

what is canon and what is supposition and what is just a lie. )
firm_detective: (misa chair)
L has been keeping to himself, more or less, since his leg healed, but regular trips to the largest of the libraries are always on his agenda. As such, he spends much of his time reading. Tonight it's I, Claudius, which isn't holding his attention as well as he would like.

He rests in bed, propped up on pillows, his legs stretched out in front of him. Misa sprawls next to him, reading a magazine that she's managed to find somewhere. It might be any time of day, but his body and the lack of false daylight streaming in through the windows in their bedroom both tell him that it's probably closing in on midnight -- the moonlight, as fake as everything else, is silver in a dark blue velvet sky.

He shifts position, rolling on his side to face Misa, shifting the pillows that support his head. Before resuming his reading, he pauses to look at her. He likes the curve of her eyelashes against her cheek. As such, he tugs at the top of the spine of her magazine, then cranes his neck to try to kiss her forehead. He takes care to exaggerate the forlorn quality of his facial expression.

[Thread is private to [livejournal.com profile] firm_detective and [livejournal.com profile] misamisal. Adult content in its second half, but no smut tags. Translation: Hope is the anchor of life.

With regard to the injury mentioned here, it was an IC explanation for L's absence from the main community: he fell on some ice in one of the winter rooms and sprained his ankle and knee, and it took several months to heal.]
firm_detective: (girlfriend)
L wakes curled against Misa's back, his arm wrapped around her, cradling her stomach. The room is blurry for a moment before details begin to emerge; then it becomes obvious that everything is wrong.

The room is generally dark, but brightened by the cool false daylight that streams in through the windows. Now the light is cold and bright, and he can see that there's snow on the outside of their windowpanes. The room itself had been decorated in black, grey, and red when he went to sleep (restful, he thinks, though he would prefer something lighter); it has transformed into what he supposes is meant to be a holiday wonderland, with touches of red and green and gold. Their garnet velvet bedspread, for example, is now dark green. What had been black wood in their furniture has changed, as if touched by Midas, into muted antique gold. The mantel over the fireplace has a garland of real holly leaves and berries, and in the open walkway between the bedroom and the living room, a ball of mistletoe hangs from the ceiling.

The small Christmas tree in the corner of the room, between the fireplace and the bathroom door, is expected; Misa dragged it there and set it up a week earlier. Everything else is a surprise.

This isn't the first time it has happened; the room changed when she moved into it, and went entirely white for about twenty-seven hours or so after they bound themselves to each other. But this is the first time the decoration has happened as the result of a holiday, and he wonders if perhaps they should find a new room.

The room has been relatively benign apart from that, though, so he pushes the thought aside, angles his neck, and kisses just below her ear. "Misa, it's time to wake up."

It's her twenty-first birthday.

[Happy birthday, Misa! Thread is private to [livejournal.com profile] firm_detective and [livejournal.com profile] misamisal. No serious adult content, just fluff. Translation: May you live forever.]
firm_detective: (18th century)
L returns to his room, still clothed in attire from the turn of the 19th century; there's some urgency in his manner. He closes and locks the door behind him, makes his way to the sofa, and sits down, propping his elbows on his knees and supporting his forehead in his hands.

"Misa? We have to talk -- now, please."

[Thread is private to [livejournal.com profile] firm_detective and [livejournal.com profile] misamisal. Backdated a few days, to just after this thread.]
firm_detective: (heart misa)
As they approach the door of their room, Misa clings to L. There's something odd in his expression.

[Thread is private to [livejournal.com profile] firm_detective and [livejournal.com profile] misamisal; continues from here. Translation: As loyal as she began, so she remains.]
firm_detective: (exhausted)
It's an ordinary evening. L is curled on his side on the sofa, reading The History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire, while Misa makes herself a cup of cocoa in their tiny kitchen.

"It's interesting: Gibbon attributes much of the fall of the Empire to degeneracy within the Praetorian Guard. Is there enough hot water for a cup of tea?"

[Thread is private to [livejournal.com profile] firm_detective and [livejournal.com profile] misamisal.]
firm_detective: (kung-fu fighting)
L sits at the kitchen table, considering recent events and idly picking at a bowl of fruit salad with his fork. Every so often, he sips from a cup of tea.

It has been a quiet day.

[Translation: the war of all against all. Private to [livejournal.com profile] isalright and [livejournal.com profile] firm_detective, for the time being.]
firm_detective: (facepalm)
The Therapy Room has finally released its hold on both L and Misa. He trudges down the hall, avoiding eye contact with her, avoiding her touch. He feels as though the air has thickened: even walking is tiring.

When they reach the room, he opens the door, holding it for her after he steps inside, still not looking at her.

[[Thread is private to [livejournal.com profile] misamisal and [livejournal.com profile] firm_detective. Musical inspiration: "Yami Ni Furu Kiseki" by D'espairs Ray. Translation: "In doubt."]]
firm_detective: (lying down)
When he walks into the room, L looks shaken. He's moving stiffly, and blood continues to trickle down his face from a nasty cut on his forehead; his hand is also cut. A few bruises are beginning to bloom.

He collapses into the chair closest to the door, sprawling across it.

[[Not sure where this is in the timeline -- sometime around nowish -- but L has just come from a run-in with [livejournal.com profile] curtainwizard in the Hate Room. Private to [livejournal.com profile] firm_detective and [livejournal.com profile] misamisal.]]
firm_detective: (heart misa)
L sits on the sofa in the room he now shares with Misa. He holds a thick novel in one hand -- he's decided to give Gravity's Rainbow another try. He is careful of the book's position: Misa is sprawled along the length of the sofa, reading her own book, with the back of her head resting against his leg.

[Private to [livejournal.com profile] firm_detective and [livejournal.com profile] misamisal; dated slightly forward.]

Better never to have met you in my dream than to wake and reach for hands that are not there. - Okomo no Yakamochi
firm_detective: (heart misa)
L sits on the sofa, reading a book, waiting for Misa to return from the kitchen. When he hears the door opening, he doesn't look up.

"Misa, we need to talk about something."
firm_detective: (kid - cherry)
Misa steps into the room with L following. He is now quite a bit shorter than her.

He flops down on the sofa. After he's situated, he stares at her with big, dark eyes.

"I know I can still read books, but Misa, would you read to me later?"

He has been trying to hide his fear from most of the adults he's encountered, to greater or lesser degrees of success, but he doesn't feel like he needs to hide it from her.

[[This thread is private to [livejournal.com profile] firm_detective and [livejournal.com profile] misamisal for now; if you want in, you know the drill. I wouldn't be surprised if [livejournal.com profile] justiceishot dropped by at some point, for example.

L has stumbled into an age-reversal room on accident, and is now 8 years old. He is 4'5" tall, weighs about 55 lbs, and has a face that is all eyes. He is expressive of a few emotions, but makes transparent attempts to cover most of them. His speech is more "British" than it is as an adult, and has lost some of its other characteristic patterns. The overall impression he gives is that of a bright little boy who may sometimes be both too serious and too calculating for his age.

His memories are jumbled. He knows who most of the people in the Mansion are, but very few details of the Kira case. Things that happened more than about a week ago feel far away in his memory, while things that happened in early childhood are more present. He is right around the age he was when he met Watari, and as such, is more inclined to miss his parents.

His feelings towards Misa are also different: he has a strong preference for her, but it's a child's love for a favorite adult.]]
firm_detective: (friendly)
L is still resting, gathering his strength, pondering everything he now knows and how it ties into his own situation. He's sitting on the sofa, now, staring down at his toes as he wiggles them against each other.

His information about the illness may have doubled in the past 12 hours, but it hasn't done a thing for his pain, nor has it stopped the green discharge that occasionally drains from his ears and nose, and down the back of his throat.

He nestles into his blanket and sighs.

There's another knock at the door, and he answers it with, "You might as well come in."

[[This thread is private to [livejournal.com profile] firm_detective and [livejournal.com profile] emo_raito.]]
firm_detective: (talking - sharpie marker)
L is still resting in bed. He's recovered from the shock of the hallucination he experienced earlier that day, and has been turning the problem over and over in his mind, considering Mello's suggestions carefully.

The particular difficulty of the dilemma is not its strangeness: he finds that if he broadens what he's willing to accept, it simplifies things drastically. It's that, once again, he's sure the puzzle is missing a few crucial pieces. He can guess at what they might be, but there are several possibilities, and he can't yet be sure. He worries that his time will run down to nothing before he works them out.

There's a knock at the door.

[[This thread is private to [livejournal.com profile] firm_detective, [livejournal.com profile] lastrunnerup, [livejournal.com profile] coordinated_n, and [livejournal.com profile] misamisal, when she "returns from getting lunch."]]
firm_detective: (speechless)
It is now becoming difficult for L to perform even simple tasks, so he takes a certain point of pride in brushing his teeth several times each day. He loads the toothbrush with care and a trembling hand, then painstakingly cleans his mouth, spitting the greenish foam into the sink when he's finished. His gums bleed green sometimes, too, but the mint of the toothpaste clears some of the taste of the discharge from the back of his throat.

His meeting in the kitchen with Beyond, the other night, has been constantly on his mind. The ghost is the illness, the illness is the ghost, and both are something else... something larger.... The obvious answer is "a trick of the Mansion" -- but this seems to go far past that.

So, this morning, he squeezes the white toothpaste onto the brush, concentrating on it closely (only losing a small dollop to the counter), then raises his gaze to the mirror over the sink as he raises the brush to his mouth.

The brush falls to the countertop, unused.

In his place in the mirror, staring back at him, is the corpse from the kitchen and the hallway. Half of its forehead and one side of its jaw have caved in, and its chest and abdominal cavity are a gaping wreck. Everything is drenched in a layer of green slime, but what can be seen of the skin has a greenish rash, here and there.

Please... please....
the face in the mirror begs through its ruined mouth.

L claps his shaking hand to his mouth, but his reflection doesn't do the same. Instead, it smiles.

The bathroom is a good size, but he's certain he's alone in it. The room reflected in the mirror, though, is packed with people, all him. L as he was before he fell ill, L as he would look if he'd hung himself. L with slashed wrists, L in a straitjacket, L with his head shaved, electrodes attached to the sides. L rotting in his grave and an L made of ashes, which quickly collapses. L grinning, his shirt drenched with blood. An L burned almost beyond recognition, and Ls covered in scars, from burn scars to knife scars to whip scars. L with a bloody bandage where his eyes should be. What might have been L, once, but is now a mess of skinned red flesh.

He takes a step back from the mirror, horrified, but someone catches him by the arm -- it's a large hand, veined, with a strong grip, coming from behind the shower doors.

He wrenches himself away -- the hand is gone, suddenly -- and falls to his knees. The pain has intensified to a point where it's almost unbearable.

He vomits on the floor. It's mostly green slime.

He calls out for someone -- someone, please help. Please.

[[This thread is private to [livejournal.com profile] firm_detective, [livejournal.com profile] misamisal, and [livejournal.com profile] lastrunnerup. Anyone else want to get involved? Ping me and we can work something out.]]
firm_detective: (working)
[[continuation of personal log related to epidemic in Mansion]]

Tuesday -- More pain. Burning pain. Fever receding, occasioanl flare. Breathing problems.
- After I completed entry, Near (blind) dead. Ruptured thoracic and abdominal regions. green. like body in kitchn. illness's ultimate conclusion.
- I am dying. my pain points to it. ridiculous way to die.
- visits: Mello, Watari, Pink-san. Loose ends tied.
- M. sicker than I thought. Green patches on back. Wants to make deals. Love her.

Wednesday -- Continuation & escalation of symptoms.
- Went to kitchen for an hour in the evening.
- **Beyond is well again.** no longer averse to watari eithr.
- Elle: discussion, Light worse (gr discharge), child Mello hallucinates but no other symp, something weird abt B visit friday?,
**WHY AREN'T THE CHILDREN ILL** (epidemiology)
- Feeling -- being watched

Thurs -- Same. feel watched when alone -- motor control deteriorating
- Kitchen again -- met new Near
- mihael v sick -- discharge -- kira near v sick -- still active
- visit from Light, surprise @ his concern

fri -- same -- always more pain -- watched
- stayed in bed exc visitors
- misas eyes gr now -- why?

sat -- same, worse -- breathing
- hallucinatn in hall. gurney. slime. body disappears. dead end but it vanished?
- help from mel, talk -- *WHY DID EVERYONE GET SICK @ SAME TIME?**
= *****NOT A NORMAL DISEASE*****
- ghost? devil?

sun -- same as sat
- met new 2x int conv
- conv w pink in kitchen -- promises re M -- my theory of illness (such as is)

mon -- same, alws increasing
- mihael dead, light tkng badly
- B in ktchn -- claims 3rd death.

B IS HALLUCINATION OR GHOST. IF HALL., AM FURTHER GONE THAN I THOUGHT. SAID:
***THE ILLNESS IS THE SAME THING AS THE GHOST***
***THE GHOST IS THE SAME THING AS THE ILLNESS***
***BOTH ARE SMTHNG ELSE ENTIRELY***
***WHO DIES DEPENDS ON THEM, ME?***


mockery -- why? wants to keep me alive to "give me a chance" --
mind playing tricks?
my sins?

tues -- same pain increasign watched
- sleeping, thinking
depends on me, sins, what is the cause??? "too slow"

why why why why w
firm_detective: (haunted - face green)
L has been asleep through most of the day, but now that he's awake, he finds that he wants a cup of hot tea. He doesn't want to wake Misa, so he leaves a note, and decides to take a walk to the kitchen. Someone or other there will probably help him, and the change of scene might improve his mood.

He could walk to this particular kitchen with his eyes closed, yet as he takes one slow step after another through the corridors, he begins to feel disoriented. The pain in his chest and abdomen never fades, and his hands are shaking... is the fever coming back yet again?

He turns the corner that he's absolutely certain should take him to the kitchen in a few dozen feet, but instead, the hallway dead-ends about three yards ahead of him. Only one flickering bulb illuminates it.

Just at the end of the hall is a hospital gurney; it looks as if it has been abandoned. There's a body on it, covered with a white sheet.

Frowning, he approaches the gurney, then grasps the corner of the sheet to lift it. Just as he does so, there's a squelching noise, and viscous green slime begins to drip off the bed's surface, sliding down the legs of its frame, plopping onto the floor.

The body -- or whatever was giving the sheet the shape of covering a body -- has vanished: there's nothing but a pool of slime.

He takes a few involuntary steps back, hits the wall, slides down until he's sitting on the floor. The impact makes him cough, there's a pressure at the bridge of his nose, and his upper lip is suddenly wet.

He raises the back of his hand to his nose, wiping with it.

It comes away green.

When he looks back at the gurney, he sees that both it and the dead end are gone: he sits about twenty feet from the door to the kitchen.

[[Not private as of yet. Tag away. This post also covers a kitchen visit Sunday night, sans hallucinations.]]
firm_detective: (lying down)
*Although L's visits to the kitchen were brief, and he remained seated the entire time, they took a lot out of him. He's napping, while Misa has gone to the kitchen to fetch a late dinner.*

*A new symptom has appeared: a rash, darker green, on his chest over his heart. He is dozing, but his hands are shaking.*

*The door is unlocked.*

[[This thread is private to [livejournal.com profile] firm_detective and [livejournal.com profile] emo_raito; [livejournal.com profile] misamisal is welcome to return from her eventful evening if she would like to. Anyone else want in? Ping me and we'll see.]]
firm_detective: (fear)
It's late Tuesday night.

After Misa fell asleep, L slipped out of bed, sat on the sofa with an extra blanket wrapped around him, and attempted to create a record of recent events.

His motor control is poor tonight, and typing was difficult, but for the moment, he is satisfied enough with the imperfect document he managed to create. It has the information: the most important thing.

He walks, wavering, back to the bed, where he nearly collapses between the sheets. What began as discomfort in his abdomen is now pain; it's also in his chest, and his breathing is beginning to be affected even when he is not exerting himself. The medication Misa brought helps, but not enough. It's weak.

He props himself against his pillows and watches her sleep, wondering how many more nights he will have left in which to watch her, the dark and shining half-moon of her eyelash against her pale cheek, the soft susurration of her breath. Already, he knows that certain things between them are probably over -- almost the first thing to be taken away by this illness.

He's still staring at her when the interruption comes.

[[This thread is private to [livejournal.com profile] firm_detective, [livejournal.com profile] lastrunnerup, [livejournal.com profile] ibuttlesir, [livejournal.com profile] justiceishot, and, if she "wakes up," [livejournal.com profile] misamisal. Anyone else want in on it? Ping me! If your character found Blind Near dead in the hallway and soon ran to tell Ryuuzaki about it in his sickroom, you, too, can be added to this list.]]
firm_detective: (working)
I cannot type so well, my hands hurt and they are shaking, but its the first opportunityh i've had to make a record of what is happening. (me and everyone else.) on sofa, blanket, misa asleep in bed. concern for her and for myself; everyone. PAIN (abdominal, chest -- lungs?). May be important to assemble notes.

Began to experience iiregularities more than a week ago, on Sunday. My hearing -- on the way to the kitchen, met a new B. Stranger than most, which is saying something. couldnt hear everything said to/around me. auditory hallucinatns? disasscoiation?

Monday -- episodes continue. fatigue.
- Rose garden room. Light (bassist) -- ill, hears things, dreams. Near. hostile Mello -- from lights world. B had told me Light told him something was going around -- light denied.
- met new Near who claimed to be android, also a melllo and a light -- all w/o incident.

Tuesday -- more fatigued. green. weakness. motor control.
- another new B. v innocent.
- female Light -- false protestations of concern -- good cake.

wEdnesday -- more. more. more. dizziness began.
- new Matsuda. Light lost. if we get past this, want to consider it further. distracted during conversation, thought i saw -- what was it? can't remember.
- FOUND BODY IN KITCHEN. green slime. decomp. spoke begging for help. ruptured, sprayed mello, me. near slipped in slime. many people in room. something about footprints? can't remember. showered as soon as I could and disposd of clothing.

weds or thurs -- walked with Beyond (is harmless for now) -- slime in sugar bowl. vanished. beyond sick -- fevers, dizziness. afraid of watari, says he "makes ppl disappear." -- does he know I make ppl disappear.? gave me health lecture.
**Illness worse w/ contact to things/people?**

Thursday -- more. more. more. more. all more extreme. fever. urgency -- tried to finish what I could.
- 3rd new B of week -- call him Cipher. fragile.
- had long convesration with Elle (inexperienced). asked him -- keep eyes open & report if necc. watch light.
- kitchen. spoke with mel. can't remember much -- something abt red near?
- also spoke w. Mihael. **CONTAGIOUS** -- green discharge symptom -- eyes, mouth. Near sick.
- Went to bar to talk to Red Near. Cannot remember why -- almost delirious.
- **Lost consciousness after returning to kitchen.** High fever. Bathed & carried back to room by a number of people. (Watari, first new B, and ? can't remember.) Humiliating.

(Room location now seems common knowledge?)

Friday -- all symptoms. Slept. High fever fluctuates. Abdominal pain.
- M very worried. I did what I had to, think she understands.
- B who helped came to visit. Feels like a dream -- I remember little.

Saturday -- all symptoms. Slept. Fever down. More pain. Hiding it from M for now.
- Mello visited. Is caring for Near -- Odd.
- Misa sick. Her hand is green and cold.

Sunday -- all symptoms. Less dizzy, less fever. More ab pain. Pain in chest. Still sleeping.
- Pink-san visited -- worried. Lectured me (as if there arent 10 Ls here).
- Misa sicker than I thought. Green in her eyes, on her back. Still wants to nurse me. Hate that she is suffering.
- Late at night -- body in corridor, repteition of events in kitchen. Do not think Misa experienced similar event.

Monday -- further lessening of initial symptoms. fever fluctuates with body ache. More pain.
- Watari visited. I was honest. Found obv heart murmur.

Today -- More pain. Burning pain. Fever receding, occasioanl flare. Breathing problems.

Do not know how much time I have -- must get out of room as soon as I can. Even an hour at a time -- two -- enough, my hands are shaking

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May 2012

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