The wonder that's keeping the stars apart

[firm_detective]

L sits on the sofa, reading a book, waiting for Misa to return from the kitchen. When he hears the door opening, he doesn't look up.

"Misa, we need to talk about something."

Comments

[misamisal.livejournal.com]

::she gently covers his knee, the one closest to her, speaking softly::
I'm willing to do whatever is involved.

[firm-detective.livejournal.com]

*He half-smiles, clinging to her hand, but it doesn't reach his eyes.*

It isn't that, Misa. It's that it is difficult for me to accept something so esoteric -- I'm going to feel exceptionally foolish through most of the learning process. Mel says that shouldn't affect the final results, though. I will have to approach it as... something like a recipe.

[misamisal.livejournal.com]

::she nods:: I understand. It will be strange for me, too. But, we're still willing to try, and that's what's most important. ::she squeezes his hand, smiling::

[firm-detective.livejournal.com]

*Another pause.*

Yes. I am willing to try.

The first thing, she said, was to learn some simple things -- a choice of healing, or the ability to move things -- I'm not yet sure in what way. I thought the healing would be more useful.

[misamisal.livejournal.com]

The healing does sound more useful. Though, perhaps we should ean both, just in case?

[firm-detective.livejournal.com]

Do they float across the room, I wonder, or just disappear from one location and reappear in the other?

*He doesn't sound like he's making a joke.*

At any rate, she says she'll begin teaching us whenever we are ready.

There isn't --

[misamisal.livejournal.com]

::she tilts her head::
Isn't what?

[firm-detective.livejournal.com]

*He looks back up at her, tilting his face with a question.*

There isn't any going back after this, Misa.

*His grip on her hand tightens a little.*

[misamisal.livejournal.com]

::her hand tightens on his as well and she nods, expression serious::
I know. And...though I know I'll miss my sister and my nephew...::her expression looks wistful for a moment but it quickly goes back to serious and determination:: ...but to go back there, to never see you again...it's just about the worst fate I can imagine. I want to do this, and as long as you'll have me, I'll stay with you forever.
::her expression becomes slightly worryied, her head tilting ever so slightly::
Do...do you want to do this? ::her question is spoken with almost a frightened tone, as if she's afraid he may say no, that he doesn't want her with him, not to this extent::

[firm-detective.livejournal.com]

*His answer is immediate: a humorless, nervous laugh, his blank face breaking into its helpless look again, and a quick nod.*

Yes. Very much.

*He softens, as a knot of tension in his abdomen begins to relax.*

Very much, Misa.

It's only that it involves accepting things I don't believe are real.

[misamisal.livejournal.com]

::her eyebrows furrow now, her expression concerned::
Really? We have to believe it will work for it to actually work?

[firm-detective.livejournal.com]

No, it doesn't seem like it -- we just have to go through the motions in the proper way. But to believe it worked after we've done it... that is what will be difficult.

I think I will go through my life waking up every day to wonder whether or not you're gone. I already do.

[misamisal.livejournal.com]

::she cuddles next to him::
I worry about that, too.

[firm-detective.livejournal.com]

... Even so, as foolish as I know I'll feel during the learning process, I am willing to try it. It sounds ridiculous, but if it is viable -- and it is the only viable possibility to present itself so far -- I think we have to make the attempt.

*He puts his arm around her shoulders, putting his face closer to hers.*

[misamisal.livejournal.com]

::she nods::
I think I'll feel a bit silly, too, depending on what we have to do. I may laugh a lot, I think. ::she smiles slightly::

::when he wraps his arm around her, she slides hers around his lower back, her hand resting on his waist, gently pressing the side of her face to his::
I'm will to try anything if there's a possibility that it may work. Though I must warn you, I'm not very good with getting cut, so I'll probably cry. ::she laughs softly, a bit embaressed:: I may even have to throw up afterward.

[firm-detective.livejournal.com]

*He turns his face and kisses her cheek.*

I don't know how much of a cut will be necessary, or who has to do the cutting. We can learn, though.

I would rather not have to cut you.

[misamisal.livejournal.com]

::turning her face, she captures his lips, then rests her forehead to his::

I'd rather not have to cut you, either. But, if it means we'll be able to be together, I'm willing ot try it.

[firm-detective.livejournal.com]

*He leans into the kiss, then, after she speaks, lets out another uneasy chuckle.*

Let's not make a habit of it.

*He twists his head to kiss her again.*

It seems so real now. It's easy to talk about it, but now that it may happen... there's a different feeling.

Another concern I have is the possibility that I will not be able to change things after all. Then you'll be alone there, completely adrift, and it will all have been for nothing.

[misamisal.livejournal.com]

::she chuckles along with him::
I agree, let's try not too.

::she gulps nervously, then wraps her other arm around him, holding tightly, clinging to him::
I know. I'm scared.

[firm-detective.livejournal.com]

*He embraces her, then picks up a strand of her hair, letting it fall through his fingers to hit her shoulder.*

The incident with Light last week was... alarming. I believe he went into a room that restored his memory of being Kira, and removed his memory of his time here completely. It passed in almost no time, but while it lasted, I have to admit I was panicking.

The first thing I plan to do is to set up some safeguards. I'll never be able to completely ensure my own safety; I can, however, be sure that you won't be left with nothing.

[misamisal.livejournal.com]

::she squeezes him tighter and when she speaks, it sounds as if her voice is being squeezes as well::

It was alarming. And, thank you, but please don't talk like that. The thought of harm being brought upon you...
::she can't even finish her sentence. She can only shake her head and press herself a bit more against him::

[firm-detective.livejournal.com]

... Is something you will have to learn to live with, Misa. It isn't realistic to pretend that it's impossible that anything could ever happen.

*But he squeezes her tightly in return.*

[misamisal.livejournal.com]

I know...I know...I just love you so much, I don't want to lose you, ever.

[firm-detective.livejournal.com]

*He brushes her hair back from her face with the side of his hand.*

I know, but... everything has an ending, Misa. As much as I don't want to lose you, either, the end will come someday. We can only hope that it's later rather than sooner, yes?

[misamisal.livejournal.com]

::framing his face with her hands, she gives a bittersweet smile::
Yes...I hope we can be together for a long time.