Thursday afternoon: revividus

[firm_detective]

L is still resting in bed. He's recovered from the shock of the hallucination he experienced earlier that day, and has been turning the problem over and over in his mind, considering Mello's suggestions carefully.

The particular difficulty of the dilemma is not its strangeness: he finds that if he broadens what he's willing to accept, it simplifies things drastically. It's that, once again, he's sure the puzzle is missing a few crucial pieces. He can guess at what they might be, but there are several possibilities, and he can't yet be sure. He worries that his time will run down to nothing before he works them out.

There's a knock at the door.

[[This thread is private to firm_detective, lastrunnerup, coordinated_n, and misamisal, when she "returns from getting lunch."]]

Comments

[firm-detective.livejournal.com]

I'd like to know anything that might help.

[lastrunnerup.livejournal.com]

It's not anything. Just-- I understand... how B feels about you. That's all.

[firm-detective.livejournal.com]

*He stares at Mello, unblinking, for a few seconds.*

... I see.

*It's nothing he didn't already know.*

[lastrunnerup.livejournal.com]

*Mello bites his lip, and shifts a little.*

See, it wasn't relevant. It's nothing. Anyway, we just wanted you to know about... the... how to fix you-- it. You know.

[coordinated-n.livejournal.com]

What do you think would help? How that feels.

[firm-detective.livejournal.com]

How it feels?

[coordinated-n.livejournal.com]

How B feels. If Mello understands it. The idea is, of course, to stop him feeling the way that's making him cause this plague. You're the key to that.

*This strikes him as obvious.*

Unless anyone is an expert on ghost containment...?

[firm-detective.livejournal.com]

*He rolls his eyes at the ghost comment: he's missed Near.*

The trouble is that I've dealt with my B. It was -- exhausting, and I'm well aware of how he felt, now, but there's no -- guarantee that this B has the same outlook.

[coordinated-n.livejournal.com]

Well, ask him.

[firm-detective.livejournal.com]

That seems to be the only option. He didn't want to tell me much the last time I saw him, but -- maybe we know enough, now, that it might -- draw him out. Maybe he's close to getting what he wants.

[lastrunnerup.livejournal.com]

That makes it sound like you're being used as bait.

[coordinated-n.livejournal.com]

So?

[lastrunnerup.livejournal.com]

So shut up, Near.

[coordinated-n.livejournal.com]

He's L. You don't think he can handle it? Better him than, oh, any other human being.

[firm-detective.livejournal.com]

It could hardly be worse than what's happening to me now.

[lastrunnerup.livejournal.com]

I wasn't talking to you in the first place, Near. Anyway, that was awfully hypocritical of you after that talk we just had about the differences between our L and Ryuuzaki.

...If you think it'll be all right, Ryuuzaki.

[firm-detective.livejournal.com]

If it's the only way -- then I suppose I have very little choice.

... Differences?

[coordinated-n.livejournal.com]

Whatever differences there may be, intellect does not appear to be one of them.

We were discussing my resentment.

[lastrunnerup.livejournal.com]

You'd better not be making a jab at my intelligence with that because my concern was put aside for what Ryuuzaki wants, Near.

[firm-detective.livejournal.com]

Please stop sniping at each other.

What... resentment? I don't think I've ever even spoken to the Near from my world. I have watched him over a webcam, but he did a very good impression of ignoring me.

[coordinated-n.livejournal.com]

We've been sniping at each other all our lives, we don't know how to stop.

And that's part of the problem.

[firm-detective.livejournal.com]

And the rest of it?

[coordinated-n.livejournal.com]

It's easy to be told someone is busy, but it's quite another matter to surrender your entire life, abandon all other goals and motivations, cut off all human contact and generally eat sleep and breathe someone who won't even consent to see you.

[firm-detective.livejournal.com]

*He looks mildly surprised, and it's a while before he says anything. When he does finally speak, his tone is ambivalent.*

There are... reasons for that. I didn't mean --

*He sighs in frustration.*

Potential successors are important, in the event that something ever -- happens to me. As the two of you know. But the trouble is, the trouble is -- it might never come. So, then, there are these people who have been trained to... do what I do the way that I do it, yes?

Is it fair to expect them to spend their entire lives just... waiting for me to die? I would imagine that at some age, they might get tired of waiting. Then, something stands in the way of what they want. They know what it is, and they have some indi--cation of how to find it.

That's the self-preservation aspect. There are less personal considerations -- for example, it's also safer for the poten--potential successors, if nobody can use them to get to me.

But it was never meant to distress you. I would have spoken with you sooner or later, if I had had the opportunity.

[coordinated-n.livejournal.com]

Of course I realized that. You didn't trust me not to take action to kill you, and you didn't trust me to consult me whether or not it was a risk I was willing to take, you made the decision for me.