Good. I am glad the two of you took care of each other. Please understand -- I do not want you to make deals like that for me, unless -- unless it's a matter of your life and death -- a last resort.
*He breathes against her neck for a few seconds, then shrugs about the dangerousness of his illness.*
It was simple. I had the flu, and I attempted to continue to work -- then I couldn't work for a few days.
Misa, please don't worry. I would not want to leave you alone.
I couldn't do that to you unless it was the a last resort. I'll hold on until I can't any longer, and then I'll hold on more. I'll do anything for you.
Still...I just want you to be well. How are you feeling now?
I don't want to leave you alone either. I'm so sorry you were taken. I shouldn't have let you touch the camera, I should have just avoided, destroyed it. I used it just before I left, I should have known!
I am feeling tired, but I expect that it will improve, with time.
*He is relieved that he's told her the worst, and she hasn't cried. He strengthens his hold on her again, but this time, moves to lift her, swiveling at the same time; it's obvious he means to set her on the table behind him.*
You couldn't have known about the camera. In any case, it seems to have brought me back.
Misa, I will always do what I can to stay alive, all right? It is only that I wasn't used to missing someone.
*He will never admit aloud how much he missed her.*
::the swivel and lift onto the table is a bit surprising, but she hangs on until her bottom connects with the top of the table. She feels a thrill fly through her when he mentions he wasn't used to missing someone.::
I...hope you never have to go through that again. But, still, thank you for missing me. I missed you, too. I was so worried, all I could do was clean and search all day. I've barely slept. I couldn't only fall into bed, exhausted, but I'd always awake a few hours later, my heart pounding. God, I've missed you so much, L. You're so important to me.
*The whistle doesn't startle him, exactly, but his gaze snaps to it, over his shoulder, and his body tenses against hers. When he realizes what it is, he relaxes again, pulling away from her to remove it from the burner and turn the burner off.*
The sofa? I -- no. Please. It would be nice to sleep together. It has been lonely at home; it's only that I am not used to being touched so much anymore.
*He gives her a small smile in return, but it doesn't make it to his eyes; he is out of the habit of smiling, out of the habit of interacting with people, once again out of the habit of doing much of anything except working, of seeing himself as something other than a machine for solving puzzles.*
Of course it will, Misa. What else would it be?
I have not changed my mind about you.
*He pulls down a box of tea, then turns to her again.*
It is easier already.
*This is wrong, he thinks. There should be some sense of celebration between us; that is normal for people who are reunited after a long time apart. He doesn't know where to begin, so he lifts the kettle and pours water into the cups she has provided.*
::She's not sure what else to do. She wants to hug him, hold him, kiss him, but she knows what's it like, not being used to being touched. Giving him time, letting him set the rules is all she can do at the moment, though she keeps stealing glances at him from the corner of her eyes, like a school girl trying to look at her crush without him, or anyone else, knowing. What can she possibly say? Then, she remembers something.::
Oh, A and I made a cheese cake the other day for you. I saved us each a piece, if you'd like some.
*He stiffens when she pulls him into her arms, but only for a second; his own arms go around her again, his long, bony hand stroking her hair. In a soft, halting voice, he begins to speak to her as if he is telling her a story.*
The first time I came here, I resented being taken away from my work. I wish that they would not have sent me back in such a way that it became difficult to focus on it, but at the same time -- it is a relief -- something of a relief -- to have ended the Kira case as much as I'll be able to.
I still have work -- there is always more to do, and I have been trying to stay occupied -- but it is not as pressing as it was before. It has mostly been money at stake, rather than lives. I had just finished my case, I had not selected the next yet --
I suppose what I mean is that, at the moment, it doesn't seem to matter much whether I am here or there. I am not as concerned as I was about the possibility that my time here could leave me open to disaster back there.
*This moment of hesitation is longer than the others; he feels like he is stumbling through a verbal minefield.*
It's only -- I had just started to resign myself to not being able to see you. I was beginning to set aside the plans we had made, because as far as I could tell, they weren't realistic possibilities anymore.
I think I had let you go, a little, Misa.
I had lost you, and now it is as if you've come back to life. It's hard to trust it.
::she nods slightly against his shoulder, gently rubbing his back in a slow motion in what she hopes is comforting::
I felt much the same the first night I came here. Even for a little while afterward, I was unsure if I should allow myself to believe... But, still, I want you to know, that no matter what happens, I will always love you L. I want you to take all the time you need to feel comfortable again.
Yes, I remember it. I didn't forget anything, Misa. It is only that it felt far away -- you were far away. I wasn't even sure where you were.
I do not know whether it would be better to give it time, or to try to pretend that I never left. When I thought about coming back here -- when I was at home -- what I wanted was for things to be the way they were when I left, or better.
*When I thought about it -- but I tried not to think about it -- spending time that way was futile.*
::There's a pause as she simply holds him and she begins to think that maybe next time she'll be able to go home with him. Home? Yes...yes, it would be her home then. But, as long as she could be with him, she knew she would feel home.::
Perhaps we should drink our tea, now, before it goes cold.
*He takes the mug of tea, making sure it's sweetened the way he likes it, then hangs back, staring, waiting for her to lead the way. He finds that his shyness has increased. It's like when it all began, he thinks, the first few weeks after she kissed me.*
*L moves around the bed to what had been his side, sets his tea on the nightstand, and sits down on the edge of the bed.*
*What now? She's the only reason to be here anymore -- there is less to do here than ever -- He props his elbow on his knee, then rests his chin in the palm of his hand for a minute or two. This is what I want? I thought, before I came here, that my life was always changing, but I see that it wasn't true. Although the locations and conditions were different, it was always work.*
*I wanted everything, without compromise -- now it seems that compromise is my only option.*
*There isn't much to be done for it, just now. After a sip from his tea cup, he pushes himself to his feet, takes off his jeans, folds them neatly, and sets them on the small chair between the nightstand and the closet door. When he's finished, he slides between the sheets in his shirt and boxers, laying down, folding his long hands over his chest, waiting for Misa to emerge from the bathroom.*
no subject
Date: 2009-01-21 05:42 am (UTC)From:*He breathes against her neck for a few seconds, then shrugs about the dangerousness of his illness.*
It was simple. I had the flu, and I attempted to continue to work -- then I couldn't work for a few days.
Misa, please don't worry. I would not want to leave you alone.
no subject
Date: 2009-01-21 06:00 am (UTC)From:Still...I just want you to be well. How are you feeling now?
I don't want to leave you alone either. I'm so sorry you were taken. I shouldn't have let you touch the camera, I should have just avoided, destroyed it. I used it just before I left, I should have known!
no subject
Date: 2009-01-21 06:09 am (UTC)From:*He is relieved that he's told her the worst, and she hasn't cried. He strengthens his hold on her again, but this time, moves to lift her, swiveling at the same time; it's obvious he means to set her on the table behind him.*
You couldn't have known about the camera. In any case, it seems to have brought me back.
Misa, I will always do what I can to stay alive, all right? It is only that I wasn't used to missing someone.
*He will never admit aloud how much he missed her.*
no subject
Date: 2009-01-21 06:24 am (UTC)From:::the swivel and lift onto the table is a bit surprising, but she hangs on until her bottom connects with the top of the table. She feels a thrill fly through her when he mentions he wasn't used to missing someone.::
I...hope you never have to go through that again. But, still, thank you for missing me. I missed you, too. I was so worried, all I could do was clean and search all day. I've barely slept. I couldn't only fall into bed, exhausted, but I'd always awake a few hours later, my heart pounding. God, I've missed you so much, L. You're so important to me.
no subject
Date: 2009-01-21 06:32 am (UTC)From:*Moving her onto the table made her taller, and now he frames her chin with both of his hands.*
You don't have to thank me,
*he murmurs, and lowers his mouth to kiss her.*
Did you search anywhere dangerous? I was told you did not go into those rooms.
no subject
Date: 2009-01-21 06:33 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2009-01-21 06:38 am (UTC)From:*He pulls back, giving her a serious look.*
We will have tea, and then, it seems, we should try to sleep. It will be strange, Misa --
no subject
Date: 2009-01-22 12:30 am (UTC)From:::she listens intently to what he says, then smiles softlyLL
It's alright, I understand. I don't mind sleeping on the sofa, if you'd like.
::Just then, the tea kettle begins to whistle, high and shrill.::
no subject
Date: 2009-01-22 01:13 am (UTC)From:The sofa? I -- no. Please. It would be nice to sleep together. It has been lonely at home; it's only that I am not used to being touched so much anymore.
no subject
Date: 2009-01-22 06:12 am (UTC)From:::She moves to stand next to him, reaching up to bring two cups down from the cupboard. She turns her head to him and smiles encouragingly::
Everything will be alright.
no subject
Date: 2009-01-22 06:25 am (UTC)From:Of course it will, Misa. What else would it be?
I have not changed my mind about you.
*He pulls down a box of tea, then turns to her again.*
It is easier already.
*This is wrong, he thinks. There should be some sense of celebration between us; that is normal for people who are reunited after a long time apart. He doesn't know where to begin, so he lifts the kettle and pours water into the cups she has provided.*
no subject
Date: 2009-01-22 06:35 am (UTC)From:Oh, A and I made a cheese cake the other day for you. I saved us each a piece, if you'd like some.
no subject
Date: 2009-01-22 06:40 am (UTC)From:Yes. You made it for me? You must have been more confident than I was.
*He takes a deep breath, thinking of all the months he has been aching for her presence. He takes her hand.*
Misa, I want -- I want you to touch me as much as you want to, and then -- and then, if it is too much, we will stop.
no subject
Date: 2009-01-22 06:46 am (UTC)From:A was, actually. I was kind of a wreck. But, it kept my hopes up.
::She turns to him, curling her fingers around his, her expression softening as she fals against him pulling him into her arms::
Oh, L...I love you so much. I'm so glad you here.
::her voice sounds a bit thick and she can feel the lump threatening in her throat::
((ooc: Time for bed! Good night! :) ))
no subject
Date: 2009-01-22 12:16 pm (UTC)From:The first time I came here, I resented being taken away from my work. I wish that they would not have sent me back in such a way that it became difficult to focus on it, but at the same time -- it is a relief -- something of a relief -- to have ended the Kira case as much as I'll be able to.
I still have work -- there is always more to do, and I have been trying to stay occupied -- but it is not as pressing as it was before. It has mostly been money at stake, rather than lives. I had just finished my case, I had not selected the next yet --
I suppose what I mean is that, at the moment, it doesn't seem to matter much whether I am here or there. I am not as concerned as I was about the possibility that my time here could leave me open to disaster back there.
*This moment of hesitation is longer than the others; he feels like he is stumbling through a verbal minefield.*
It's only -- I had just started to resign myself to not being able to see you. I was beginning to set aside the plans we had made, because as far as I could tell, they weren't realistic possibilities anymore.
I think I had let you go, a little, Misa.
I had lost you, and now it is as if you've come back to life. It's hard to trust it.
no subject
Date: 2009-01-22 11:10 pm (UTC)From:I felt much the same the first night I came here. Even for a little while afterward, I was unsure if I should allow myself to believe...
But, still, I want you to know, that no matter what happens, I will always love you L. I want you to take all the time you need to feel comfortable again.
no subject
Date: 2009-01-22 11:36 pm (UTC)From:Yes, I remember it. I didn't forget anything, Misa. It is only that it felt far away -- you were far away. I wasn't even sure where you were.
I do not know whether it would be better to give it time, or to try to pretend that I never left. When I thought about coming back here -- when I was at home -- what I wanted was for things to be the way they were when I left, or better.
*When I thought about it -- but I tried not to think about it -- spending time that way was futile.*
no subject
Date: 2009-01-22 11:48 pm (UTC)From:::There's a pause as she simply holds him and she begins to think that maybe next time she'll be able to go home with him. Home? Yes...yes, it would be her home then. But, as long as she could be with him, she knew she would feel home.::
Perhaps we should drink our tea, now, before it goes cold.
no subject
Date: 2009-01-23 01:36 am (UTC)From:*he murmurs, then chuckles, nervous.*
I do not -- care -- about the tea. It would be nice, it is always nice, but just now, I do not care about it.
*As he speaks, something subtle changes in his posture, to the point where he seems to be cradling her against him.*
Misa, I don't sleep the way I used to, anymore.
no subject
Date: 2009-01-24 05:03 pm (UTC)From:Perhaps you'll be able to get back to that. I haven't been sleeping well lately, either.
no subject
Date: 2009-01-24 08:46 pm (UTC)From:*He sighs, again, resting his head against hers.*
It is physiological, Misa. Sometimes I can make myself sleep, but it is better and more comfortable with you.
We will take the tea to bed?
no subject
Date: 2009-01-27 01:30 am (UTC)From:Of course.
::Having thrown some tea bags into the water just before they began to hug, she takes them out now and picks up both mugs, handing one to L::
Well, shall we go then?
no subject
Date: 2009-01-27 04:05 am (UTC)From:Yes.
You will wear the red silk nightgown?
no subject
Date: 2009-01-27 07:06 pm (UTC)From:Yes. It's quite comfortable.
::she leads the way, sensing his shyness. In the bedroom, she turns down the bed, sets down her tea on the endtable and grabs the nightgown::
I'll be right back.
::She heads into the bathroom and dresses, as well as washing her face, taking her time in order to give him some time to adjust.::
no subject
Date: 2009-01-27 08:02 pm (UTC)From:*What now? She's the only reason to be here anymore -- there is less to do here than ever -- He props his elbow on his knee, then rests his chin in the palm of his hand for a minute or two. This is what I want? I thought, before I came here, that my life was always changing, but I see that it wasn't true. Although the locations and conditions were different, it was always work.*
*I wanted everything, without compromise -- now it seems that compromise is my only option.*
*There isn't much to be done for it, just now. After a sip from his tea cup, he pushes himself to his feet, takes off his jeans, folds them neatly, and sets them on the small chair between the nightstand and the closet door. When he's finished, he slides between the sheets in his shirt and boxers, laying down, folding his long hands over his chest, waiting for Misa to emerge from the bathroom.*
*He stares at the ceiling, lost in thought.*
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