Friday night: Ut incepit fidelis sic permanet

[firm_detective]

As they approach the door of their room, Misa clings to L. There's something odd in his expression.

[Thread is private to firm_detective and misamisal; continues from here. Translation: As loyal as she began, so she remains.]

Comments

[firm-detective.livejournal.com]

More to the point, it is my hope that he will not be able to kill me, and strand you alone in that world. It wasn't out of concern for his well-being that I took those steps.

*He stands to follow her over to the kitchen area, leaning against the table to talk to her while she makes the preparations for tea.*

It is possible, but Misa, she would have to want to talk to you. I have burned both Death Notes; after a certain point, I could no longer see her. She assured me that she would be -- looking in on me from time to time.

*The discomfort in his tone makes his meaning clear.*

[misamisal.livejournal.com]

::she smiles at this. The fact that it wasn't for Light's safety is kind of comical, but more importantly, he did it for them.::

::As she fills the kettle and listens, she notices teh discomfort in his voice and she makes a bit of a grimace. She knows how Rem works. Setting the kettles on the stove and lighting the burner, she turns, leaning against the counter, standng in her thinking stance with her left arm under her breasts, right arm resting against her chest with her thumb against her lip, right leg swung behind the other.::

That worrys me a bit. I don't think she would hurt you because you helped get her Misa out of most of the trouble she was in. It's a bit disappointing that you were unable to see her after a certain period of, time, though.

I heard something about Death God's being able to get replacement Death Note's in the Shinigami Realm, but, I don't know how valid that is. Then again, in my world, Rem gave me Gelus's notebook. She still had her own. I don't know if that's the case for the Rem of your world, though.

[firm-detective.livejournal.com]

I think she intends to learn whether or not my claims of your existence were a ruse, before making up her mind.

*He dips his head to the side, thinking, then comments,*

No. She had her own -- she used her own to kill Higuchi. She said it was her place to kill him, because he had used the Death Note. Ryuk also had his own; he wore it in a sort of holder on his belt. The two I burned -- one must have been the one belonging to Gelus, and the other -- I do not know.

*He hesitates, seeming to deflate, hunching over onto himself.*

At any rate, it has been over for a few months, for the most part.

[misamisal.livejournal.com]

::she nods, concentrating on what he's saying::

I see...Well, It seems we'll just have to deal with it as it comes. Though, since it's Rem, and she'll see how we are together...I don't think she'll harm you. If she makes herself visible to me, I'll make sure of it.

[firm-detective.livejournal.com]

*He stands with his arms crossed, looking at the floor, and takes a long moment to reply.*

I had a few months after all that, as I said. I wanted to keep busy. That means --

* -- there's a slight, uncomfortable shift in his position -- *

The days seemed long, Misa, and I could never decide whether or not I wanted to sleep much. I did not think I would be seeing you again. I did not know whether or not I should hope for it.

*He can't begin, just now, to put together the words to explain it -- how he took every case that came to hand just to have something to do, how he would stay awake as long as he could to avoid the dreams of her, a bout with the flu during which he worked as long as possible and wound up hospitalized. When he was released, he immediately resumed his former schedule. He still feels more tired than usual. The work has been profoundly unsatisfying -- nothing is as challenging as the Kira case, and he is aware that he did not solve it on his own power. All of this is embarrassing; work should have been a comfort to him, the one constant in his life.*

[misamisal.livejournal.com]

::softly, slightly hesitently, she steps forward until she's standing in front of him, a bit close, gazing up into his face. Gently, she reaches up and lightly presses the tips of her fingers to his cheek, just below his eyes::

You look so tired...You must have been working so hard.

[firm-detective.livejournal.com]

*He closes his eyes, taking deep inhalations of her scent; he seems to relax against her hand.*

I wanted to be busy --

* -- he repeats, sounding a little broken -- *

-- But yes, I am tired, and --

*Wrapping his arms around her, he drops his head to her shoulder.*

[misamisal.livejournal.com]

::In turn, she wraps her arms around his back and shoulders, holding him to her, snuggling her head against his warm shoulder.::

I felt as if I was missing a part of myself, and it was only five days.

[firm-detective.livejournal.com]

*He whispers against her neck,*

I didn't want to have time to think about you. I thought there was no point, when there was nothing I could do. I carried your camera in my pocket for weeks.

[misamisal.livejournal.com]

It's awful, when there isn't anything to do about a situation. Usually there is at least something that can be done to make the situation better, but, in this case...
...why do they play with us, L? Do they want to see how much we can take before we break?

::She knows he won't be able to answer, but she's been thinking about it and can't help saying it out loud. It comes out in a tone that screams of a deep ache.::

[firm-detective.livejournal.com]

*A soft snort; he feels the air coming out warm against her neck.*

Maybe they wanted to see if you would make a deal -- but you didn't, you didn't, yes?

*His arms tighten around her.*

Misa, I was in the hospital for a few days last month. There was no serious danger, just pneumonia, but -- I was sick, and I did not pace myself. It was foolish. If I was going to die that way, I might as well have let myself be killed by Kira.

[misamisal.livejournal.com]

::she gives her head a short shake::
No, I didn't. And I kept eating, too. Mel and I made ourselves eat, made sure we took care of each other.

::her eyes widen, eyebrows shoot up, then lower into a worried fashion::
Pneumonia...that's not just something, that's dangerous.

::her small arms tighten around him at the mention of being killed by Kira.::
No, no, don't say that. I'd never want you to die that way. Or anyway. If you have to die, I want to be right there with you.

[firm-detective.livejournal.com]

Good. I am glad the two of you took care of each other. Please understand -- I do not want you to make deals like that for me, unless -- unless it's a matter of your life and death -- a last resort.

*He breathes against her neck for a few seconds, then shrugs about the dangerousness of his illness.*

It was simple. I had the flu, and I attempted to continue to work -- then I couldn't work for a few days.

Misa, please don't worry. I would not want to leave you alone.

[misamisal.livejournal.com]

I couldn't do that to you unless it was the a last resort. I'll hold on until I can't any longer, and then I'll hold on more. I'll do anything for you.

Still...I just want you to be well. How are you feeling now?

I don't want to leave you alone either. I'm so sorry you were taken. I shouldn't have let you touch the camera, I should have just avoided, destroyed it. I used it just before I left, I should have known!

[firm-detective.livejournal.com]

I am feeling tired, but I expect that it will improve, with time.

*He is relieved that he's told her the worst, and she hasn't cried. He strengthens his hold on her again, but this time, moves to lift her, swiveling at the same time; it's obvious he means to set her on the table behind him.*

You couldn't have known about the camera. In any case, it seems to have brought me back.

Misa, I will always do what I can to stay alive, all right? It is only that I wasn't used to missing someone.

*He will never admit aloud how much he missed her.*

[misamisal.livejournal.com]

I'll help you rest. I'll take care of you.

::the swivel and lift onto the table is a bit surprising, but she hangs on until her bottom connects with the top of the table. She feels a thrill fly through her when he mentions he wasn't used to missing someone.::

I...hope you never have to go through that again. But, still, thank you for missing me. I missed you, too. I was so worried, all I could do was clean and search all day. I've barely slept. I couldn't only fall into bed, exhausted, but I'd always awake a few hours later, my heart pounding. God, I've missed you so much, L. You're so important to me.

[firm-detective.livejournal.com]

I think I need time, more than help -- more forced relaxation, I suppose. It will be all right.

*Moving her onto the table made her taller, and now he frames her chin with both of his hands.*

You don't have to thank me,

*he murmurs, and lowers his mouth to kiss her.*

Did you search anywhere dangerous? I was told you did not go into those rooms.

[misamisal.livejournal.com]

I wanted to. I even tried, but Mel made sure I didn't. I was her lifeline outside of the room.

[firm-detective.livejournal.com]

Good. It was a futile search -- I do not like to think of you putting yourself in unnecessary danger.

*He pulls back, giving her a serious look.*

We will have tea, and then, it seems, we should try to sleep. It will be strange, Misa --

[misamisal.livejournal.com]

I felt that it was, too. The way you disappeared...

::she listens intently to what he says, then smiles softlyLL

It's alright, I understand. I don't mind sleeping on the sofa, if you'd like.

::Just then, the tea kettle begins to whistle, high and shrill.::

[firm-detective.livejournal.com]

*The whistle doesn't startle him, exactly, but his gaze snaps to it, over his shoulder, and his body tenses against hers. When he realizes what it is, he relaxes again, pulling away from her to remove it from the burner and turn the burner off.*

The sofa? I -- no. Please. It would be nice to sleep together. It has been lonely at home; it's only that I am not used to being touched so much anymore.

[misamisal.livejournal.com]

We'll take it slow. Just knowing the other is there I think will help us to sleep a little easier.

::She moves to stand next to him, reaching up to bring two cups down from the cupboard. She turns her head to him and smiles encouragingly::

Everything will be alright.

[firm-detective.livejournal.com]

*He gives her a small smile in return, but it doesn't make it to his eyes; he is out of the habit of smiling, out of the habit of interacting with people, once again out of the habit of doing much of anything except working, of seeing himself as something other than a machine for solving puzzles.*

Of course it will, Misa. What else would it be?

I have not changed my mind about you.

*He pulls down a box of tea, then turns to her again.*

It is easier already.

*This is wrong, he thinks. There should be some sense of celebration between us; that is normal for people who are reunited after a long time apart. He doesn't know where to begin, so he lifts the kettle and pours water into the cups she has provided.*

[misamisal.livejournal.com]

::She's not sure what else to do. She wants to hug him, hold him, kiss him, but she knows what's it like, not being used to being touched. Giving him time, letting him set the rules is all she can do at the moment, though she keeps stealing glances at him from the corner of her eyes, like a school girl trying to look at her crush without him, or anyone else, knowing. What can she possibly say? Then, she remembers something.::

Oh, A and I made a cheese cake the other day for you. I saved us each a piece, if you'd like some.

[firm-detective.livejournal.com]

*His half-smile brightens.*

Yes. You made it for me? You must have been more confident than I was.

*He takes a deep breath, thinking of all the months he has been aching for her presence. He takes her hand.*

Misa, I want -- I want you to touch me as much as you want to, and then -- and then, if it is too much, we will stop.